The Journey of Many, Many Miles.

Yesterday I took a moment to look back....all the way back to the very first step of this healthy living journey. Over 5.5 years ago....

I walked into Weight Watchers that Thursday morning with my mom by my side & carrying little Miss Laynee who was two weeks old in her car seat. I remember my heart sinking to my toes when I saw my starting weight that morning.

I wanted to cry. I was so mad at myself. I felt regret. I felt anger. I was sad. I was scared.
I was afraid I would never get where I wanted to go. I was afraid I would fail.

I remember it seemed to take forever for my body to start losing. My mom would remind me every week that I had just had a baby & my body had a lot of changes to go through. I did not give up; that isn't my nature.

I do know for the first year I was on WW, I never had a gain for a week. I had maintains, I had losses of just 0.25 but I was focused enough that I was losing. Slowly....very slowly, but the number was getting smaller.

I collected all of my awards - my 10% key ring, my 25 lb star, all the 5 lb stars for every 5 lbs gone, eventually that 50 lb medal & then came the goal weight & lifetime awards. Oh that sense of pride I felt every time!

Throughout my losing weight, I had to get active. I was an athlete in high school & a pretty decent one. But, running was NEVER a thing for me. In fact, it was punishment at my practices - if we ran it was because coach was ticked off!

But, I had to move. I started with pushing little Miss Laynee around our development in her stroller. That first step, those first steps...honestly, working up to walking a mile. I remember feeling embarrassed and ashamed that I was once a solid athlete & had let myself get to this point. Eventually I was walking a mile or more consistently. But, then I tried running....just a little here & a little there. I felt like a complete fool praying none of my neighbors were home looking out their window as I'm sure I looked ridiculous! At first, those run intervals were literally a couple steps....

But then again, doesn't every journey begin with a single step?

There was a day I ran a mile....a very slow mile. But I was proud. There was a day I ran two miles without stopping. Eventually a five mile run became my normal - the first time I ran 5 miles I jumped up & down with tears in my eyes - I felt amazing!

I look back now after having backtracked slightly on the # on the scale & the running. Up until recently I was feeling so ashamed, mad at myself & feeling like a failure that I had allowed myself to slide a tad backwards.

But, then I remember, that sometimes life happens. Sometimes we do lose sight of our goals. Sometimes we get too comfortable. Sometimes we stop pushing ourselves out of our comfort zone to see what else we can do. Sometimes we move ourselves down to the bottom of our list of priorities when we should be at the top.

This is my year of stepping out of my comfort zone. I've joined an incredible fitness center, Mommy Fit Club, where I've already found amazing support & encouragement. I joined their running club when previously the thought of running with a group scared the heck outta me.....you know, because I'm SO SLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW! But, if I don't step out of my super comfy comfort zone, I am holding myself back from building anything of true beauty.

So, this week I'm looking back, I'm reflecting; I'm remembering how many miles I have already traveled here with pride; and I'm looking ahead to how many more miles I have to travel with excitement.

As for WIW....my scale is a liar! I know my inches are moving in the right direction, I'm toning - I'm building strength. My scale this morning wanted me to throw her through the window apparently...So, right now I'm not letting that # control me. I took pictures on March 1st...I'm anxious to see those change at the end of the month!

Until Next Time~
*krisha*

My Run Fell Short

So I am training for a half-marathon in October. My training schedule had me doing a 5 mile run this weekend that I didn't get in with being away from home. So, I had to do it last night. 

We got up to our seasonal campsite & I started thinking of a 100 excuses as to why I shouldn't go for a run. Even though, there was the smart girl voice in my head saying "You need to run. Don't forget your goals." Thankfully, I told my hubby I was thinking of so many excuses to not go & he told me to quit it & go! 

So, I did. I promised myself again that I was not going to stress about my pace. All I was going to do was put one foot in front of the other.

Wow..it was ROUGH! Last week I didn't really run at all because I had tweaked my back & was in pain. I tried to keep going. Putting one foot in front of the other.....I kept pushing myself mentally:

- you aren't really tired yet

- you still have more in you

- just keep going, it will get better

- you can

And then I just stopped. A 5 mile run wasn't in my cards last night for many reasons to learn from - not excuses. 

- I didn't get a proper snack before hand to fuel myself

- I forgot my running belt for my water at home

- My muscles were aching

- I hadn't run in over a week

- I didn't drink enough water in the afternoon

But, this time falling short was different for me. I didn't beat myself up & call myself a failure. I was proud I tried, I was proud that I went for a run, I was proud I pushed hard until I was out of gas, I was proud that I learned something. After all, I went 3.5 miles so I still had a good calorie burn & got a good run done. 

So, now the plan will be to run & cross train during the week & catch back up with my training schedule with a 6 mile run this weekend! And IF I were to fall short again, I am going to remind myself of this:

 

Until Next Time ~

*krisha*