Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Running Again!

So I recently was hating running! I wrote about it here last week. Despised it, never wanted to do it again. So, I did take a week or two off from it. But, I kept thinking about that darn half-marathon in October that I'm already registered for. 

I was struggling.....Because I am not a quitter. Because a half is something I have said I wanted to do for a few years. Because I know there are people in my life who don't think I can do it or that I will do it.

So, I set the goal on Sunday to run 4 miles on Monday & to see how that went. I made the following agreement with myself:

- I would pay no attention to my pace or care what my pace is.
- I wasn't going to wear my heart rate monitor so I couldn't pay any attention to how many calories I was or wasn't burning.
- If I needed to walk, it was okay.
- Don't look back to what your pace was last summer, Summer 2012 is over, this is 2013 so who cares?
- I really wanted to be back in 50 minutes.

Well...I put on my music & ran....4.35 miles. The longest run I've had since last summer. It felt great. No, it wasn't easy. But, it was rewarding. It was relaxing. It was quality time with me, myself & I. No pressure to be anyone I am not. I only walked three times for 15 seconds & that was only after 3 decent size hills. 

So, I'm back. On track with my half-marathon schedule & ready to train.

Strong Medicine
And for today's WIW, I'm down from last week. I'm moving forward!!

Until Next Time ~

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

WIW & Moving Foward

Strong Medicine 

So here we are again on a Wednesday. I did get on the scale this morning but I'm not sure if it was up or down from last week because I was on a scale break-up for the most part then (but, it's down from a few days ago after I kick my own butt)!  However, I'm back in a relationship with it for now. I think right now I need the feedback, but I am also reminding myself daily that the ### does NOT define me. If I start going back to being my worst enemy weighing myself, I'll have to break up with that witch again! 

But for now - I'm moving forward. Yesterday I admitted how much **It Just Got Real for me trying to get dressed for work. I'm over being mad at myself. I'm moving forward!

I am going to get back to my basics, the "Honeymoon Phase" with Weight Watchers is the term I prefer to use! Back to tracking, which I have been HORRIBLE at for the past year (probably WHY the scale is up), I set back up my 4 times a day reminders on my phone to track & Imma Gonna Rock This!

I'm also super pumped because I just ordered ChaLean Extreme the other day - PUMPED! I intend on doing a hybrid schedule of that with Turbo Fire! 

Yes, I love to run. Yes, I am suppose to run a half-marathon in October. Yes, I used to love running. I couldn't wait for my run every day. I'm not sure why, but right now, I loathe it almost. I don't want to do it & it makes me grumpy! No, having a half-marathon on the schedule doesn't motivate me right now (I was training last summer for it & was rocking until I had to stop via my Orthopedic doc due to a pinched nerve that was killing me when running). When I had to stop running, I deferred my registration to this fall but now I don't like running. I'm going to take a couple weeks off from focusing on it & maybe that desire & fire will return!

On another note, we celebrated my baby's FIFTH birthday on is she 5? 
 It was suppose to be a super sunny gorgeous day......the weather peeps were a bit "off target!" But, we still  had a blast & the sun did come up eventually!

Until Next Time~

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

**It Just Got Real!

Really....this morning was the last straw.....Really, really, I had to try on four, yes FOUR pairs of pants before "settling" on the fifth pair as being okay - meaning I didn't look like I was spilling out of them or busting seams or had a gigantic muffin top! These pants I speak of....were once too big! I had to wear a belt to keep them nicely in place.

Oh! AND a top I tried on, a size LARGE that I almost got rid of once because it was really too big & actually made me look bigger with the way it fit me....was WAY.TOO.FLIPPIN'.SMALL.

SO, it's real y'all! No...not going backwards anymore. Not going to keep hatin' on myself for what I've allowed to come back on my butt, hips, waist, legs.....I'm moving forward.

So here's to today. Here is to me getting healthy again. Here is to me treating food as fuel & not as a habit, hobby, or emotional satisfaction or fulfillment.

Here is to me kicking some * out peeps! Here is a better me:
Until Next Time ~

Wednesday, July 17, 2013


So I took a long vacation away from the world of blogging. Between softball season, end of the school year life, summer starting & ignoring how I am still constantly failing at this taking & keeping weight off sort-of-thing I had disappeared. But, here I am today, back and ready….I hope.

And I'm back today linking up for WIW as I did so many previous times...only with different bloggers this time!
Pretty Strong Medicine

A couple of weeks ago I again realized the super negative effect the scale was having on me. I mean, really, it is a number & should not define my self-worth every morning. So, we broke up. As we broke-up, I had a week at the camper with my ENTIRE family (while going back & forth to work) & then followed that week up with a road trip & vacation to Florida with my hubby & the girls. Today, just to check in, I got on the scale. No, I didn’t love the number at all. I wish I was not in that decade of numbers.  But was I surprised? No. I am actually down about a pound & a half since the last time I got on it but I also can tell it’s back up from where it was within that time. I’m not going to dwell on it though. I had a GREAT vacation in Florida. I did drink what I wanted & let myself eat what I wanted at dinner but tried to keep things in perspective for breakfast & lunch. I have no regrets with how I did. I could have done better, but it was my choice to not stress about it.  

But, now it’s time to get focused. I hate what I see in the mirror every morning, afternoon & evening. I have truly put myself in the lowest spot on my list of priorities, and I’m not proud. It’s time to fix it. It’s time to work on me. It’s time to take care of myself so I can be a better spouse, mom & friend. 

About two years ago I spent the summer feeling AMAZED with myself. I had just become a Weight Watchers Lifetime member & I was SO CONFIDENT. I wore shorts & didn’t think twice about it. I felt good in my swimsuit! 

Unfortunately, it was before gaining back about twenty pounds.

Sometimes I truly think I’m just scared. When I used to hear people say something about having fear about losing weight, I could never figure it out! I mean, what is there to be afraid of with losing weight? In my current situation in digging deep inside myself, I feel it. For me, it’s a feel of failure….again. I failed. I put back on 20 pounds after working my butt off (literally) for 3 years. Here I sit having done exactly what I said I would NEVER do. 

I am afraid that I will regain it again. I am afraid that I will fail. 

But, so what. Time to get over my fear & move forward. A fear of failure will only hold me back & I will continue to look back in the past. So over it! So ready to move forward & take it one day at a time.
So, here goes nothing. I’m moving on. I’m moving forward. I’m moving away from my past failures. 

And some pics from our wonderful vacation:

First time in the ocean for my little ladies!
 They never wanted to leave!
 Of course we had to go searching for seashells!
 Treasured family time!
 Yes, the cool mom I am let them get their hair done!
 Until Next Time~