Wednesday, March 25, 2015


Life is all about creating ourselves. For quite some time, I have been on a quest to find Krisha, or I guess create the best version of myself; of who I am supposed to be.

There were a few years where I lived buried. Buried under life. Not feeling much. Living through the daily motions.

No doubt, my quest has been an adventure. Allow me to introduce you to Krisha, a woman confident in who she is and who she is becoming. A woman who will admit she has failed over and over again at many things in life; massive, important things; things she will carry forever. A woman who once hated herself and stood on the sidelines of life. A woman who now knows who she is and who she is supposed to be.

I was raised to believe in the power of hard work; I will work sun up to sun down, day in and day out if that is what needs to be done. I am not afraid to get dirty (this coming from the girl who once worked in the field as a plumber...) and not afraid to sweat. If you want something in life, anything, you have to commit to hard work; nothing good in life comes easy. There is always something that needs to be done; there is always a job that needs to be completed. Honestly, I cannot relax knowing something is undone. This was how I was raised; we certainly did not sit around and watch hours of TV in my house growing up. This is something I am truly thankful that my parents demonstrated over the years: work hard and take pride in your work. After all, nothing is worth doing if you are not going to give it your all.

Along with that hard work, I am an athlete. I was ALWAYS an athlete. My veins are filled with a competitive spirit; to an extent many probably cannot even imagine how strong it is. For years, I lived with this void. Until I fell in love with running. Running has allowed me to feel like ME again; an athlete. Guess what? I am the best competitor for me; my own competition and I love every second of it. Truly, I probably cannot put it in words, but it makes me feel alive; it's almost freeing to me.

I absolutely love a challenge - tell me I cannot do something or that it is going to be difficult and guess just lit a fire in me. That competitor in me THRIVES off of being challenged and having goals to achieve and work towards. If you have no goals, where are you trying to go in life? are simply just going through the daily motions of life and not really living.

I work hard; but I play hard. When the time is there, I love to be with my favorite people laughing, sharing stories, creating memories. You will never see me sitting down much ever. I like to move, I like to explore. I love adventures, I love to make everyone around me smile and laugh, I like to create simple every day moments into memories to treasure.

This girl is a giver; again, thanks to my parents. We have always believed in giving, in paying it forward. We were always more fortunate than others (however, please note we all worked our butts off for that) but never selfish; always paying it forward. Giving, without wanting to receive.  With my giving attitude is that heart of mine that always loves to help others and often takes on so many extras until that plate is definitely filled and spilling over but I love it all at the same time.

My family is my heart. I will and would do anything for any one of them. I love going to work every day and working with my dad, my two brothers and my sister. Our relationships are so solid and I am blessed to be their family.  My mom is my best friend; she is simply the most amazing, loving, giving, selfless person I know. I am just blessed by my family. Every single one of them; despite our many differences or our past battles.

Over the years, I have learned that I am my own best friend and the best person to ever depend on. I do not ask for help very well at all; and there is nothing more than I dislike than being disappointed or let down. I do not trust easy; life has shown me that it is best not too. I have been used and knocked down so many times on so many levels over the years; but I always have and always will get back up.

I love words. I love to write; anything really. I will wake up in the middle of the night and write. I will try to go to bed at night, like tonight, and get back up because I have words I need out.

I am stubborn; more than you can even imagine. I am very impatient; this is one of those work in progress areas. But, they are me.

I will speak my truths now; there was a time I wouldn't. Popular truths or not. If you hurt me, I will let you know. I will no longer leave it inside to eat away at me; I'll speak it and move forward. There is no more hiding my feelings, or burying them; no fake here. I have learned that all I need is a few quality friends, not a hundred who aren't real. I only want true genuine relationships in my life.

I am a mom. A mom who wonders all day long if she is screwing up her kids; wonders if she is making the right decisions for them. A mom who works hard at juggling everything for her kids. A mom who sneaks into their rooms late at night watching them sleep and thanks God for letting me be their mom with tears in my eyes. A mom who is so proud of her girls and will always be there to be their rock, their teacher, their cheerleader, their friend, their pusher and their hug.

I am an original; I do not fit into a mold or a category. I often am told that I am not a "normal girl." Or told that I am more "like one of the guys, yet you aren't"...whatever that means!

I am me. I am someone who once looked in the mirror and was filled with hate. For herself.

I am now someone who loves herself; every flaw and imperfection you could point out to her. Her stretch marks from becoming a mom, signs of gained and lost weight, her tree trunk legs she always hated, or her stubbornness and lack of patience. I look in the mirror and see the only place I have to live; my body. Therefore, I take care of my body and feed it what it needs, whether that means healthy foods or a 20 mile run, I nourish it. My mind can be controlled by what I feed it: the positives of life or feed it the negatives; what I give power to in my mind is what it will feed off. My strong heart has been broken and felt empty several times but really it is as real as you can find and if you are in it, its because you love the real me despite my failures in life, my flaws or imperfections; and you were there to celebrate the successes and share the laughter.

This is Krisha: a woman who loves herself, works hard, is an athlete, loves a goal and a challenge, always gives, loves deep and will always get back up when knocked down. A woman who is still on the quest of creating herself; her best self. Not some "skinny" self like some may believe; the self that she is proud to be daily and will continue to be proud of tomorrow. A woman who no longer measures herself against anyone or anything or allows anyone control over her self-confidence because she is exactly who she is supposed to be...the best version of herself.

Until Next Time~

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