So my post was going to be a simple post on my half-marathon recap.
But, since Sunday & crossing that finish line, I have had a lot of thoughts.
A lot of emotions have gone through me.
A lot of looking back.
But, even more looking forward.
Look at this picture:
In 2013 I started running again after recovering from shoulder surgery. I had to start all over from zero. But, I was already registered for a half-marathon for that October after having to defer my 2012 registration because of surgery.
I hated running.
Like every ounce of me hated it.
I had to work all the way back up to being able to run one mile after having to sit with very limited movement for 6 months. I struggled & I wanted to quit.
But, I knew I had a goal so I kept trying.
I ran my half-marathon. I was weak. I was slow. I was overweight. I compared myself to every runner that passed me on the course. I compared my time & said I was too slow to be called a "real runner." I told myself I didn't look like a "real runner," I didn't have a runner's body.
However, I rode my high from the race. I was proud that I had done it & as I said "when is the next run?" after the race, I still did not love the run; but I loved the race atmosphere.
What was holding myself back was that I was weak - mentally. I didn't give myself credit, I compared & I knocked myself down.
But, that girl took a single step forward from a standstill. That alone takes strength. She continued to take a million baby steps in a forward direction. Every step she took fueled her momentum. Her momentum kept her rolling giving her the determination & the strength to create healthy habits, to break up with her negative habits, and to stay consistent with the choices she made on a daily basis. Staying consistent no matter how much that girl wanted to give up is what has kept the momentum moving; this is what has allowed her to grow as much as she has.
Fast-forward to this weekend:
During the race on Sunday, I thought about how much I truly love the run. I thought about how strong I felt mentally & physically. I thought about how much pride I had in myself to keep pushing myself, to keep putting myself out there with chances to fail.
I felt amazing during the race (until mile 12 I started to lose some steam). My Nike watch was not tracking distance so I shut that off which was the best thing for me because I could not look at it & stress over how slow or fast I was going. All I could do was listen to my body. I enjoyed every mile; the fans, the fun signs, the other runners.
I ran much of the race with a lady I will never forget; being in her space while running inspired me. I was not sure her age, but I searched her bib number after the race to find she was older than I thought at 74 years old. I followed right behind her for a few miles thinking "I want to be like her when I grow up." We ran side-by-side almost for awhile & eventually I lost her. I waited near the finish line hoping to see her & I truly wanted to give her a hug & tell her she inspired me greatly, but somehow I missed her. One of my favorite parts about races is the inspiration you can find - I absolutely love it.
My best friend who also once said she could never run a half-marathon & was told over her years she could not be active due to asthma was also inspiring. This girl has made an incredible transformation in the past year & she finished her first half on Sunday despite seven miles of incredible knee pain. Even with the pain, she has now registered for the 25k in three weeks. She once said "I can't do that" & know she says "I can."
But, since Sunday & crossing that finish line, I have had a lot of thoughts.
A lot of emotions have gone through me.
A lot of looking back.
But, even more looking forward.
Look at this picture:
I hated running.
Like every ounce of me hated it.
I had to work all the way back up to being able to run one mile after having to sit with very limited movement for 6 months. I struggled & I wanted to quit.
But, I knew I had a goal so I kept trying.
I ran my half-marathon. I was weak. I was slow. I was overweight. I compared myself to every runner that passed me on the course. I compared my time & said I was too slow to be called a "real runner." I told myself I didn't look like a "real runner," I didn't have a runner's body.
However, I rode my high from the race. I was proud that I had done it & as I said "when is the next run?" after the race, I still did not love the run; but I loved the race atmosphere.
What was holding myself back was that I was weak - mentally. I didn't give myself credit, I compared & I knocked myself down.
But, that girl took a single step forward from a standstill. That alone takes strength. She continued to take a million baby steps in a forward direction. Every step she took fueled her momentum. Her momentum kept her rolling giving her the determination & the strength to create healthy habits, to break up with her negative habits, and to stay consistent with the choices she made on a daily basis. Staying consistent no matter how much that girl wanted to give up is what has kept the momentum moving; this is what has allowed her to grow as much as she has.
Fast-forward to this weekend:
During the race on Sunday, I thought about how much I truly love the run. I thought about how strong I felt mentally & physically. I thought about how much pride I had in myself to keep pushing myself, to keep putting myself out there with chances to fail.
I felt amazing during the race (until mile 12 I started to lose some steam). My Nike watch was not tracking distance so I shut that off which was the best thing for me because I could not look at it & stress over how slow or fast I was going. All I could do was listen to my body. I enjoyed every mile; the fans, the fun signs, the other runners.
I ran much of the race with a lady I will never forget; being in her space while running inspired me. I was not sure her age, but I searched her bib number after the race to find she was older than I thought at 74 years old. I followed right behind her for a few miles thinking "I want to be like her when I grow up." We ran side-by-side almost for awhile & eventually I lost her. I waited near the finish line hoping to see her & I truly wanted to give her a hug & tell her she inspired me greatly, but somehow I missed her. One of my favorite parts about races is the inspiration you can find - I absolutely love it.
My best friend who also once said she could never run a half-marathon & was told over her years she could not be active due to asthma was also inspiring. This girl has made an incredible transformation in the past year & she finished her first half on Sunday despite seven miles of incredible knee pain. Even with the pain, she has now registered for the 25k in three weeks. She once said "I can't do that" & know she says "I can."
The woman I see today is one who no longer wants to be like anyone else or look like anyone; she simply just wants to be the best self she can be. Her self-confidence is strong & she feels strong as she rides her momentum still taking a million baby steps in a forward direction. She may not have a "runner's body," but she has a runners heart & that is all you need.
Until Next Time~
*krisha*
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