Yes....Yes I am.
I am on the Struggle Bus.
I hate it.
I have been stuck & unable to jump off.
Like something is totally holding me back.
Today....today...I think I jumped off.
I needed a wake-up call, a serious slap in the face.
I actually ended up at the doc office this week to have some blood work done & talk through some issues. Overall, my blood work shows I am way incredibly healthy so we were able to determine what was causing me to feel the way I have been & am trying some things out.
However, one thing I know....
I have not been truly taking care of me. For months.
I have allowed myself to be pushed down the list of priorities....at times, pretty far. The problem with this: I am the ONLY one who can take care of me. No one else is there to do this for me.
My energy has been so incredibly low for months & getting worse as time progresses. I do not sleep. although I have never been a good sleeper anyway (thanks to the genes from my dad's side), my sleep pattern is so crazy right now & the amount of actual sleep I am getting on average is way too low. Way too low.
My nutrition has, to be 100 percent honest, been lacking. I have not been drinking my Shakeology daily (umm...hello...easiest way in the world to get my daily superfoods - DUMB!), some days I do not eat enough food, while other days I am grabbing foods I know my body does not need & will do me zero good & consuming too much of it!
During this summer, my girls have stayed with their dad some extra days....which, in turn, has seemed to give me a free pass at not eating a healthy dinner since it was just me or really, not eating at all. Hello, Krisha....a Kind bar is NOT a dinner!
I mean....really.... I KNOW BETTER!
I have also struggled with allowing food to control me again. Have you ever struggled with food in this way before? Where food is almost like an addiction & you turn towards it. For years I turned to food as a crutch. I used it to try to calm my stress. I used to it try to fill emotional voids, that empty feeling. I did not have control over what went in my mouth or how much.
Then, you have that "everything in moderation" concept, right? Well....what is the breaking point between "moderation" and just your "normal"??? I think I have leaped over the moderation line on some items & are indulging WAY.TOO.MUCH.
Umm...hello to that glass of wine I say I will enjoy randomly on a week night to turning into MOST week nights. That is not moderation. That is almost a routine.
Then, lets talk about my workouts or how long it has been now since I have gotten in a really super hard, drenched in sweat, blow my own mind session?? Actually, lately when I start a workout I realize I cannot even power through it due to my energy lacking.
I do not feel good right now. I am not the best version of me. My energy is low. My motivation is dragging behind me. My healthy habits are not routines. My body does not feel good. I can feel my "tight" disappearing & leaving behind what I worked hard to change in the first place.
Simply put, I do not feel good. I am not my best.
So, I slapped myself in the face. I have taken a few steps backwards lately. But, I am awake now. I had to force myself to admit that really, I was back to self-sabotaging myself again. I was creating excuses. I was falling back into old habits. I was losing control.
Sure, I need to give myself some grace as I continue to adjust into my new chapter. I have. I do. But, once again, it is that struggle of finding the right balance of giving grace but not selling myself short by creating excuses too. Truly, I can see in the past few weeks when I take care of me, I am a much better mom & Krisha for those around me that I love!
Regardless, healthy living is a journey that never ends. It's a constant adventure & sometimes we do find that we are taking some backwards steps. The best choice here is to pick your chin up & look forward again. Do not look backwards at how you looked a year ago or how strong you were six months ago - that will only hold you back. That was what was weighing me down on the struggle bus - looking back.
So I jumped off the bus knowing I only want to move forward. So, chin up, one foot in front of the other & taking care of me again! Because...I am worth it.
Until Next Time~
*krisha*
I am on the Struggle Bus.
I hate it.
I have been stuck & unable to jump off.
Like something is totally holding me back.
Today....today...I think I jumped off.
I needed a wake-up call, a serious slap in the face.
I actually ended up at the doc office this week to have some blood work done & talk through some issues. Overall, my blood work shows I am way incredibly healthy so we were able to determine what was causing me to feel the way I have been & am trying some things out.
However, one thing I know....
I have not been truly taking care of me. For months.
I have allowed myself to be pushed down the list of priorities....at times, pretty far. The problem with this: I am the ONLY one who can take care of me. No one else is there to do this for me.
My energy has been so incredibly low for months & getting worse as time progresses. I do not sleep. although I have never been a good sleeper anyway (thanks to the genes from my dad's side), my sleep pattern is so crazy right now & the amount of actual sleep I am getting on average is way too low. Way too low.
My nutrition has, to be 100 percent honest, been lacking. I have not been drinking my Shakeology daily (umm...hello...easiest way in the world to get my daily superfoods - DUMB!), some days I do not eat enough food, while other days I am grabbing foods I know my body does not need & will do me zero good & consuming too much of it!
During this summer, my girls have stayed with their dad some extra days....which, in turn, has seemed to give me a free pass at not eating a healthy dinner since it was just me or really, not eating at all. Hello, Krisha....a Kind bar is NOT a dinner!
I mean....really.... I KNOW BETTER!
I have also struggled with allowing food to control me again. Have you ever struggled with food in this way before? Where food is almost like an addiction & you turn towards it. For years I turned to food as a crutch. I used it to try to calm my stress. I used to it try to fill emotional voids, that empty feeling. I did not have control over what went in my mouth or how much.
Then, you have that "everything in moderation" concept, right? Well....what is the breaking point between "moderation" and just your "normal"??? I think I have leaped over the moderation line on some items & are indulging WAY.TOO.MUCH.
Umm...hello to that glass of wine I say I will enjoy randomly on a week night to turning into MOST week nights. That is not moderation. That is almost a routine.
Then, lets talk about my workouts or how long it has been now since I have gotten in a really super hard, drenched in sweat, blow my own mind session?? Actually, lately when I start a workout I realize I cannot even power through it due to my energy lacking.
I do not feel good right now. I am not the best version of me. My energy is low. My motivation is dragging behind me. My healthy habits are not routines. My body does not feel good. I can feel my "tight" disappearing & leaving behind what I worked hard to change in the first place.
Simply put, I do not feel good. I am not my best.
*Lets see what changes we can make in a month!*
So, I slapped myself in the face. I have taken a few steps backwards lately. But, I am awake now. I had to force myself to admit that really, I was back to self-sabotaging myself again. I was creating excuses. I was falling back into old habits. I was losing control.
Sure, I need to give myself some grace as I continue to adjust into my new chapter. I have. I do. But, once again, it is that struggle of finding the right balance of giving grace but not selling myself short by creating excuses too. Truly, I can see in the past few weeks when I take care of me, I am a much better mom & Krisha for those around me that I love!
Regardless, healthy living is a journey that never ends. It's a constant adventure & sometimes we do find that we are taking some backwards steps. The best choice here is to pick your chin up & look forward again. Do not look backwards at how you looked a year ago or how strong you were six months ago - that will only hold you back. That was what was weighing me down on the struggle bus - looking back.
So I jumped off the bus knowing I only want to move forward. So, chin up, one foot in front of the other & taking care of me again! Because...I am worth it.
Until Next Time~
*krisha*
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