Backwards???

So yesterday I had planned on linking up with some awesome bloggers for Motivation Monday. 

I tried to start a post several times yesterday. But, the motivation was lacking. 

I had zero.

It was one of those days. 

A day spent kicking myself, honestly. Definitely NOT motivating myself & if I'm not motivated it is certainly hard to motivate anyone else! 

A couple months ago I had promised myself I was never going to go "backwards" again.

Staying the same, absolutely. Make more progress, sure. Backwards, never.

However, then I ran my marathon while going through life transitions & changes that altered my life, emotions and schedule greatly. After my marathon, my knee/leg did not allow me to be very active. I had to rest it to let it all heal, which meant no running at all for quite some time. I definitely suffered from that let-down of working so hard for months & months for a goal, a race, a day & was then left wondering "now what" & almost feeling empty with no big goal or challenge. I had many adjustments to make in life, family, health & fitness that at times it was all overwhelming. 

It hit me on Sunday that I was barely on this wagon anymore. I'm certain I had only one hand hanging on & the rest of my body was dragging in the dirt & getting beat up by the rocks. 

Yesterday I honestly spent the day beating myself up, reminding myself I had said never again. I could see fully how much I had let some of my healthy habits fall to the side. Food was not being looked at as fuel; it was a crutch for life, to fill the empty voids or cracks & take away the stress or loneliness. Sure, I was still running and working out, but not nearly as intense as previously....almost feeling as if I was being weighed down.

But, after beating myself up, I reminded myself the only direction, for me, to move is forward. 

I sat there & thought about all the reasons that I had allowed myself to slip. I realized why.

It's life. Life was happening. Perfection is a lie; there is no such thing. I am completely imperfect. 

So, I dusted myself off; picked myself back up. I had a nice butt-kicking talk with myself about my excuses & my habits & what I needed to change. I told myself there is never any point in looking backwards; I have no desire to go that way. 

I am only looking forward to the goals for today & the goals for tomorrow. I pulled myself back up on to this wagon of the lifestyle I want, that I crave, reminding myself that life will always happen & that I am perfectly imperfect just the way I should be. My reaction to my "cha-cha" is what always makes the difference in tomorrow. Giving myself some compassion & grace versus the negative self-talk & moving forward to where I want to be.

 
Until Next Time~
*krisha*